Saints Peter and Paul Parish
Marriage Preparation Policy
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The Catholic Church nourishes the lives of our members through the seven sacraments. These special sacred rituals are by their nature public, community events. In the Sacrament of Matrimony, the Church celebrates God's presence in Scripture and in the covenanted love of the couple. The celebration of Eucharist often serves to underscore our belief in Christ's presence during this special occasion. Christ blesses the couple and the community, and our actions make visible God's real presence.
A living Catholic Parish plays important roles at the major life events of its parishioners. The Sacrament of Marriage is best envisioned as a process, which begins long before the wedding day, and lasts far beyond the ceremony. In traditional Catholic teaching, the COUPLE themselves, not a priest or deacon, are ministers of the sacrament. The couple's task is to make God's love real and tangible to each other throughout every day of their lives. The role of the Parish and clergy is not to give the sacrament to them. It is to support & give witness to their own parishioners who request and live the sacrament of matrimony. This happens through preparation not only for the wedding day, but for married life. It happens by making sure that those who are married here are active members of our worshipping community. It means that all of our parish weddings take place within our church, or the church of the person they marry. It means that our church is available only to weddings of couples who are truly a part of our parish, and is not rented out for any other weddings. It is in this light that a policy for weddings has been developed.
This policy assumes that this is your first marriage, and that you are currently not civilly married. If either member of the party is divorced or civilly married, please be assured of our support in helping you celebrate the sacrament of marriage in our parish. Because the special attention that these situations deserve may vary greatly from couple to couple, the best thing in either case is to make an appointment to speak with one of the priests of the parish, doing so at your earliest convenience.
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The following people, assuming they complete the necessary preparations, may marry at Ss. Peter & Paul Parish in Alton. It is assumed that at least one of the couple is an actively practicing Catholic.
- Active, registered adult parishioners of our Parish;
- Dependents of active, registered parishioners (e.g., a college student who lives out of town, an unemployed adult child who lives with their parishioner/parent);
- For appropriate pastoral reason, an active members of another parish, with their local pastor's approval. No dates will be secured until such permission is received in writing.
Examples of appropriate reasons are:
- Long family history of having been an active parishioner or student at SS Peter & Paul.
- Large number of family who are active parishioners.
- Having moved here recently, and not having registered yet.
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The first step is to personally contact the pastor or associate pastor. This should be done as soon as possible. Without their prior knowledge & approval, you may not schedule a date for a wedding. You are welcome to check available dates if you wish, but no dates may be held for anyone without the approval of the Pastor or his Associate. Please note that we require least 6 months notice before the wedding. Once approved, you may then arrange a date with the pastor, associate or parish secretary. Then, you must complete the following steps for preparation. These steps are determined in conjunction with the Catholic Diocese of Springfield, Illinois, in whose name we serve the Catholic Community of Alton.
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These steps require a series of three to four meetings with the priest who will officiate at your wedding. They also require an additional day or weekend of your time, spent with other married people in a "Pre-Cana Program" or "Engaged Encounter." The four steps are as follows:
- Initial Interview This is a simple interview process which is done for all Catholic marriages throughout the world. It should be scheduled at least 6 months prior to your wedding.
- "Prepare Marital Inventory" This inventory is designed by professional marriage counselors. Its purpose is to help couples to strengthen their relationships. It aims to achieve this by giving the couple greater awareness of their strengths and growing areas in communications. The inventory is taken in the form of a questionnaire, normally at the same meeting as the initial interview. Then, it is discussed in two of the following meetings.
- Formal Preparation Program Normally consists of Pre-Cana classes, or an "Engaged Encounter" Weekend. Schedules of these events will be given to you during your preparation. It is highly recommended that you register for these events as early as possible. These classes are
most helpful if done after processing your Prepare inventory. We will respect similar courses offered in other dioceses, as well. Proof of attendance should be given to the priest responsible for arranging your marriage.
- Planning of the Wedding Ceremony This is done with the priest celebrating your marriage during the third and fourth meetings. Please consult the music director early on to assist you in selecting appropriate musicians and music for your wedding. To aid in planning and in the selection of readings, we use the text Celebrating Marriage, by Paul Covino. A copy is provided
for you at the time of your Initial Interview.
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- There is a $25 fee due at the first meeting with local clergy. This covers the cost of the "Prepare Marital Inventory," described above, it does not go to our parish. Please bring a check made out to "Prepare/Enrich" to your first meeting. If all of your marriage preparation is done by visiting clergy, this fee is not collected.
- For all weddings, there is a $40 "stole fee" as directed by the Springfield Diocese. For active parishioners, this is the only required fee. A donation to the church would be appropriate, but not required.
- If for pastoral reasons a non-parishioner does have a wedding at SS Peter & Paul, an additional $200 is requested for the use and upkeep of our church.
- Non-parishioners may wish to remunerate the clergy who work outside parish time for your wedding. A gift reflective of the time they put in would be most appreciated.
- If a server is present for the wedding, $5 or $ 1 0 would be most appropriate.
- You must arrange musicians' fees directly with them. Local diocesan guidelines vary from $50 to $100 based on the musician's skill and the number of rehearsal time necessary. Musicians are not required to be at the wedding rehearsal.
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Time
One or two Weddings may be held on Saturdays. In order to allow for this possibility, we request either a morning wedding or an afternoon wedding. A morning wedding normally begins at 11:00, and an afternoon wedding normally begins at 2:00. While these times can be flexible, we insist that there be three hours between the beginning time of each wedding. Some couples prefer an evening wedding. Saturday Evening weddings are not permitted.
Ceremony
For Catholics, the Eucharist is a sacrament of unity, reserved for those who are full members of our faith. A wedding between two practicing Catholics normally takes place within the Eucharist (mass). A wedding between a Catholic and a member of another Christian faith normally takes place within a service of scripture readings. If one of the couple is not a baptized Christian, this is the only option the Catholic church allows.
Wedding Party
We request that there be no more than 12 people in the wedding party, in addition to the bride & groom. A room (the "Mary's Room") is provided for bride & bridesmaids to dress in. Groomsmen usually come dressed & the Sloan room is made available to them.
Rehearsal
We normally schedule a rehearsal on the evening before the wedding. On weekends where there are two weddings being celebrated, we ask that the later wedding have a rehearsal at 7:30 pm and the earlier wedding have the rehearsal at 6:00 pm. Days other-than the night before are acceptable, provided there is no conflict with regularly scheduled church activities.
Visiting Ministers for your wedding
You are welcome to have a visiting priest preside at your wedding. Please notify the Pastor or associate of this when you make initial arrangements. One of the local priests will still be responsible to see that all the steps for preparation have been met, unless the visiting priest is doing this himself If he is, his preparation must match that required by our parish. If your wedding is not during a mass, you may invite a visiting minister from the church of the non-Catholic person. He or she may assist in readings, prayers, and blessings as arranged with the priest who will preside at the service. Permission for a non-Catholic minister to participate during a wedding mass is possible to get, but does require permission of the Bishop's office. The same permission is possible to have the marriage in a non-Catholic church, provided the non-Catholic member of the party is an active parishioner in that church.
Ministries for lay people during your wedding
We are happy to include friends and family who are active Catholics to help as Servers or Extraordinary Ministers of Communion. Any Christian with appropriate appreciation for worship may proclaim a reading from scripture, or read the Prayers of Petition, bring forward the bread and wine for mass. This assumes that they have skills and experience appropriate to the role you are asking them to fill. This is especially true for readers, who must have good public speaking skills. Their lives should give evidence that they believe and attempt to live out the scriptures they are asked to read.
Decorations
The parish secretary should be consulted to schedule a time to decorate before the wedding, on the same day of the wedding. In order to allow for a second wedding on a given day, we ask that all couples cooperate in providing necessary time to decorate between services.
On no occasions may the regular, seasonal decorations of the church be removed or altered. The four Sundays prior to Christmas feature darker blues. On no occasions should poinsettias be used before Christmas day. During Christmas Season (Christmas through the first Sunday of January), count on whites, golds and poinsettias. from Ash Wednesday to Palm Sunday, the color is a grayish purple. (No weddings from Palm Sunday weekend through Easter Sunday weekend.) Whites and gold and colorful spring and summer flowers are prevalent from Easter Sunday through the following Six Sundays. The Seventh Sunday after Easter, known as Pentecost, features reds. The rest of the year the church is simply decorated. During late October through Thanksgiving, harvest colors may be present in the sanctuary area. The green table cloth used during Ordinary Time may be changed to white for your wedding.
- Any decorations added to the church must not obscure sight lines to the Altar, the Pulpit, the Presider's chair. Mobility around EACH of these areas is essential.
- Nothing is to be placed on top of the Altar Table itself for any reason.
- A small table in front of the altar may be used for an optional unity candle or any other small bouquets which might be presented to your family or the Holy Family Shrine. We have such tables here for your use.
- Additional candelabra are discouraged, mainly for reasons of mobility in the sanctuary area. If used, they must have plastic sheeting underneath to protect the rug from wax.
- Our aisle is 65 feet long. We do not provide a runner. Runners are entirely optional.
- No use of rice, bird-seed, balloons, flower petals or anything else which stays behind or pollutes the environment is permitted.
- All decorations must be removed immediately after all weddings. The church must be empty by 3:30 P.M. on Saturdays.
Photography
- We strongly recommend that as many pictures as possible be taken before the wedding ceremony. If there are two weddings on one day, all must be taken before the wedding.
- Flash pictures should be minimal during the ceremony but are fine during the processions.
- Balcony, side aisles & sacristy doors are available for photos or video during the ceremony. Strobes and moving video are not allowed.
- All photography must be finished before 3:30 P.M. on Saturday weddings.
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A wedding at Sts. Peter & Paul parish should follow the same basic pattern as our public prayer at Weekend Eucharist. Music for any wedding, whether it is a mass or not, should be done in such a way that people of the assembly have the opportunity to pray those parts which belong to them, and sing those parts which should be sung by the praying assembly. In light of this:
- At all weddings the Responsorial Psalm, (between the readings) Gospel Acclamation (alleluia) are cantored from the front, so that people may sing along. Additionally, at all weddings which are celebrated as a mass, the Holy, Memorial Acclamation (Christ has Died ... ) & Amen should be cantored in the same way.
- A Congregational hymn at the beginning or end, or both, can help people of all faiths feel more comfortable praying together in the church. Please consider this option.
- The Lord's Prayer (Our Father) should not be sung by a soloist, unless it is done as a prelude before the service.
In accordance with the policies for music of the Springfield diocese, the following music should not be a part of the wedding service:
- "Traditional" wedding marches (from Tannheuser & Lohengrin -- written to accompany mocking weddings within the operas they come from);
- and Secular Songs. (they're often wonderful music --- for the reception. Would you sing the "Holy Holy" there?!)
If you are having musicians other than the parish ministers listed below, check all music for your wedding with the director of music. Aside from the music listed above, the following types of music are considered appropriate:
- any classical instrumental music,
- any sung or instrumental Christian or religious music,
- any hymn or psalm you hear sung at a weekend liturgy in our church,
- any Christian hymn.
Music or songs selected by any cantors or instrumentalists from our parish can be considered approved.
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- Parish Office: 465-4221
- Music Director: Fr. Jim at Parish office
- fax 465-0346
- Sacristan: Dorothy Parsons 462-8387
Parish Musicians:
Organists
Charles Fischer 465-6787
Fr. Jim Brobst 465-4221
Singers
Paula Malone 462-2349
Martha Brockus 463-0042
Mary Hentrich 465-2401
Pianists (organists also play piano)
Tim Gilbreth 466-9501
Terri Ortman 466-3207
Andrew Floerke 465-5169
Guitarist
Linda Springman 466-8981
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(All musical selections may be arranged with local Parish instrumentalists/vocalists, according to the provided music guidelines. Otherwise, selections must be cleared with the director of music)
- Music before the Service - may be instrumental or sung
- Processional - a single processional is recommended for the entire wedding party, including the bride.
- (optional) Gathering Hymn - if used, should be sung by the entire assembly.
- Responsorial Psalm - Must be a psalm text with a sung refrain. Any Psalm we use on Sundays would be appropriate. PRINT THE TEXT IN YOUR PROGRAM!!
- Gospel Acclamation - A sung alleluia, or during Lent, another Acclamation. Again, a sung refrain is required.
- (optional) Song after the wedding vows This is normally where optional rites such as the unity candle, any special presentations of flowers to the holy family Shrine, or to Parents, take place. One sung or instrumental selection should cover all of this. If you do any of these optional rites, they should include some sung or instrumental cover. If you're not doing them, please don't schedule music during this time.
- (mass only) Preparation of gifts A brief song or instrumental background is appropriate here as the bread & wine are brought forward and the altar prepared.
- (mass only) Sung Acclamations during the Eucharistic Prayer These must be sung at all weddings with a mass. The song leader should lead them from the front. Haugen's "Mass of Creation" provides the currently best-known setting in Catholic Churches. These include the Holy Holy, Christ has Died, Amen, & Lamb of God.
- (mass only) Music During Communion may be a solo song, a song with a refrain for the assembly, or simply instrumental. Any song or hymn you would hear at communion time in a church could be appropriate. The music should begin immediately after the prayer "Lord I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word & I shall be healed."
- Recessional Music May be instrumental, but may also be a joyful Congregational hymn. Music may continue to be played or sung as people are leaving church.
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There is a wealth of instrumental and sacred music available for weddings. All music is best selected in conjunction with those who will play it. Please be sensitive to the guidelines established for Wedding Music in doing so. The list below gives some suggestions for music appropriate to Catholic Worship, and is by no means exhaustive.
Some suggested sung Responsorial Psalms All settings are in Gather, 1st or 2nd editions.
- Psalm 19 "Lord, You Have the Words of everlasting Life"
- Psalm 25 "To You 0 Lord, I Lift My Soul, to You I Lift my Soul"
- Psalm 27 "The Lord is My Light & my Salvation: of Whom Should I be Afraid?"
- Psalm 34 "Taste & See the Goodness of the Lord"
- Psalm 62 "In God Alone is my Soul at rest, the God who is my Help. The Lord is my Rock, my Strength & my Hope, my Fortress, my God"
- Psalm 98 "All the Ends of the Earth have seen the Power of God(2x)"
- Psalm 100 "We are his People, the Flock of the Lord"
- Psalm 116 "Our Blessing Cup is a Communion in the Blood of the Lord"
- Psalm 118 "This is the day the Lord has made, let us be glad & rejoice"
- Psalm 128 "Blest are who love you, happy those who follow you, blest are those who seek you, O Lord"
- Psalm 145 "I will Praise your Name, my King & my God"
- Psalm 148 "Praise the Lord from the heavens, Alleluia" (not used during Lent)
(The above psalms could be appropriate anytime when a song or hymn is desired)
Some suggested hymns for weddings - The hymns listed here include tunes known across many denominations, although texts may be new.
(MI = 1995 Music Issue Hymnal in the pews; G = Gather, 2nd edition; W = Worship, 3rd edition)
- Love divine, All Loves Excelling, MI 330
- Hear us Now, our God & Father, Ml 399
- All Creatures of out God & King, Ml 334
- For the Beauty of the Earth, Ml 395
- Praise to the Lord the Almighty, (Usually in Missalette during Ordinary time)
- Now Thank We All our God, (Usually in Missalette during Ordinary time)
- Praise the Lord, Ye Heavens Adore Him, Ml 333
- Sent Forth by God's Blessing (at end), MI 348
Easy to sing hymns, even if they are new to folks:
- God is Love , G 445
- Lord of All Hopefulness, Ml 360
- We Have Been Told , Ml 519
During Advent, Christmas, or Easter, a Seasonal Hymn would be appropriate.
A few less-known but lovely songs for soloists might include the following:
- Not for Tongues of Heaven's Angels, W 589
- Come, My Way, my Truth, My Life, MI 358
- The Servant Song, G 476
- I Have Loved You with an Everlasting Love, MI 561
- Where Charity & Love prevail, MI 376
Other solo songs may be used, provided they are in accord with the guidelines described on the opposite page.
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Last Modified: 02/12/97